short beta for 2009

Apparently you have no idea what is a forgery, your lack of clue puts
on a pretty convincing demonstration. And you bumbling fucktards call
Jon clueless? ::snigger::

 

Good luck finding a post where Gary Knutson shows he has a clue. He's
got ten years worth of posts to alt.machines.cnc and
comp.cad.solidworks and is about as worthless as they come.

Jon Banquer
San Diego, CA
http://jonbanquer.baywords.com/

 

Stop, Jonboi, you're breaking my heart. Shouldn't you be answering
yourself on your new bog?

gk

 

Q: Why was the blond so happy when she finished the jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
A: The box said 2 to 4 years.

Q: Why do you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 1/2 a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: what is the first thing a blonde learns when she takes driving lessons?
A: you can also sit upright in a car.

Q: what do blonde virgins eat?
A: baby food.

Q: did you hear about the blonde who just bought an a.m. Radio?
A: it took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

Q: why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: they always forget the recipe.

Q: how does the blonde car pool work?
A: they all meet at work at 7:45.

Q: how do you keep a blonde busy?
A: write 'please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: what job function does a blonde have in an m&m factory?
A: proofreading.

Q: what are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: third grade.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: she has a checkbook.

Q: how can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde?
A: there is a stamp on it.

Q: how can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde?
A: there is a stamp on it.

Q: what's the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist?
A: you can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: what's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: lipstick.

Q: why don't blondes double recipes?
A: the oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and the Panama canal?
A: the Panama canal is a busy ditch.

Q: how did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: she fell out of the tree.

Q: what do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: divorced.

Q: what is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: to be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: one has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is a walrus.

Q: what's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?
A: the shopping cart has a mind of its own.

Q: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
A: It is the one with the kickstand.

Q: why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
A: from trying to blow out light bulbs.

Q: what do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: run like hell... she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: because it said 'concentrate.'

Q: what do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?
A: a foursome.

Q: a blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q  What do you call a smart blonde?
A  A golden retriever.

Q: how do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: tell her she's pregnant.

Q: how do you keep a blonde busy all day?
A: put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Q  A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the
biggest boobs?
A  The blonde, because she's 18.

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: I hope it's mine!

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawn mower?
A: The green "Welcome" mat is ripped all the shreds.

Q: What did the blondes Mom say before she left for a date?
A: If your not in bed by 10, come home!

Q: Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
A: To see what's on the other side.

Q: What do you call 2 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted flakes.

Q: How do blondes commit suicide?
A: Put spikes on their shoulder pads.

Q: Why are blondes like turtles?
A: When on their back, their screwed.

Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: Both empty from the neck up.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Give her a pack of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing in a row?
A: Wind tunnel.

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: What's similar about UFO's and a smart blonde?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see one.

Q: If a blonde and a brunette fell out of an airplane, who would land first?
A: The brunette. The blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.

Q: Why don't blondes like pickles?
A: They keep getting their head stuck in the jar.

Q: What is a blondes' mating call?
A: Oh, I'm soooooo drunk!

Q: What is a brunettes mating call?
A: Have all the blonde's gone home?

Q: What does a blonde say first thing in the morning?
A: Are all you guys on the same team?

Q: What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair black?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: 100 - 1 to stir and 99 to peel the M&Ms.

Q: How can you tell when a blonde has used your computer?
A: Whiteout all over the screen.

Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the whiteout.

Q: Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: Why do blondes write TGIF on their bras?
A: Tits Go In First.

Q: Why do blondes like the GST?
A: It's the only thing they can spell.

Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: To keep their ankles warm.

Q: How do you change a blondes mind?
A: Blow in her ear.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an airplane?
A: The Black Box ALWAYS tells the truth.

Q: How does a blonde turn on the light in the morning?
A: Opens the car door.

Q: How is a blonde unlike the Titanic?
A: You know how many men went down on the Titanic.

Q: Why did 18 blondes go to the R-rated movie?
A: Because they heard that under 17 was not admitted.

Q: What does a blond say after making love?
A: "Thanks guys..."

Q: What is the best protection against rape?
A: Dye your hair blond - no one "rapes" a blond!

Q: What do most blondes have against condoms?
A: Their cheeks!

Q: How can you tell a real blond from a fake?
A: **** her!

Q: What's the worst blonde joke of all time?
A: Dan Quayle.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Sat. night?
A: Tell her a joke on Thursday.

Q: What's the difference between an intelligent blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been UFO sightings.

Q: What do you call a brunette standing between 2 blondes?
A: An interpreter.

Q: What do you call 21 blondes standing in a row ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: How does a blonde turn on a light after sex?
A: She opens the car door.

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet???
A: The winner of a Hide and Seek game.

Q: What goes "VROOOM SCREECH! VROOOM SCREECH! VROOOM SCREECH!"
A: A blonde at a flashing red light!

Q: Why can't blondes use birth control pills?
A: They keep falling out.

Q: If you have 3 blondes sitting on a couch, how do you know which one
is the cock sucker?
A: The one spitting feathers!

Q: What happened to the Blonde terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
A: She burned her lips on the exhaust pipe.

Q: How does a blond hemophiliac cure herself?
A: With acupuncture!

Q: Why does a blond eat beans on Saturday?
A: So she can take a bubble bath on Sunday.

Q: How can you tell when you're in bed with a Blonde man?
A: It's not hard.

Q: What do you call a virgin blonde?
A: Dead.

Q: What do you have when there are three blondes in a corner?
A: An Air Pocket.

Q: What do you call a blond driving a car?
A: An Air Bag.

Q. How does a blond screw in a light bulb?
A: With lubricant.

Q: What does a blond put behind her ears to attract men?
A: Her ankles!

Q: Why couldn't the blond make koolaid?
A: She couldn't fit all the water into that little packet!

Q: Did you hear about the blonde girl who thought her typewriter was pregnant?
A: Seems it was skipping periods.

Q: What do four blondes have in common?
A: Nothing they can think of.

Q: How does a blond screw in a lightbulb?
A: She holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

Q: What did the blonde say when the job interviewer asked her to spell her name?
A: "H-E-R N-A-M-M."

Q: Why Do You Take A Blonde Shopping With You?
A: To Be Able To Park In The Handicapped Zone.

Q: How do you give a blonde more head room??
A: Adjust the steering wheel.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 100 -- 1 to screw it in and 99 to say I can do that.

Q: What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt?
A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do a Bleached Blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: They both have little Black Boxes.

Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone's been in a 747!

Q: What's the other difference between a Blonde and a 747?
A: A 747 only goes down occasionally where a Blonde...well...

Q: What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: What do you call a blonde in leather jacket?
A: A rebel without a clue!

Q: Why Did The Blonde Have Bruises around Her Navel?
A: Her Boyfriend Was Blonde Too.

Q: What do you call a group of blondes sitting in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Q: What did the blonde say when she opened the box of cheerios?
A: Oh look, daddy...doughnut seeds.

Q: Why don't the let blondes take coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them!

Q: How do you know when a blonde is having her period?
A: When she can't find her pencil and her tampon's behind her ear.

Q: How come the blonde had a square chest?
A: She forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who lost 85% of her brains?
A: Her husband died.

Q: Why can't blondes fart?
A: They don't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.

Q: What does a blonde say in the morning?
A: Who ARE you guys?

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?
A: Tell her a joke on Monday.

Q: How do you get a twinkle in a blondes' eye?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head?
A: All you can eat for under a buck.

Q: How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave.

Q: How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?
A: Fell out of the tree.

Q: why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: in case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: What's similar about Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Smart Blondes?
A: They are all make-believe.

Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: To keep their ankles warm.

Q: How are a blond and a computer the same?
A: You don't appreciate them until they go down.

Q: Why did the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A1: She kept throwing out the W's!
A2: She was TRYING to put them in alphabetical order.
A3: She was eating all the W's.

Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A1: She'd just dyed her hair.
A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievement?
A: An IN-body experience!

Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagen?
A: Far-from-thinkin

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

Q: Why don't blondes eat Jell-O?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little
packages.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids...

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings?
A: To put their feet through.

Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!

Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.

Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers license?
A: She wasn't used to the front seat!

Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: Why do blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in
Canada)
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: What is 74 to a blonde?
A: 69 plus GST.

Q: why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: she wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer
explained to her that she needed a liquor license?
"Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"

Did you hear about the blonde who dropped out of nursing school?
She was doing great until she found out she would have to perform the
Hymenlick Maneuver.

Teller: Why did the blonde move to LA?
Blonde: I don't know. Why?
Teller: It was easier to spell.
Blonde: Easier than what?

We have a Blonde where I work, who is so dumb she thinks Manual
Labor is a Mexican.

Did you hear about the blond who had a hysterectomy so she'd stop
having grandchildren?

Did you hear about the blond who was two hours late getting home
because the escalator got stuck?

Did you hear about the blond who stayed up all night studying for
her urine test?

Did you hear about the blond prostitute who didn't vote? She
didn't care who got in.

Did you hear about the blonde who thought a sanitary belt was a
drink from a clean glass?

Did you hear about the blonde who only smelled good on the right
side? She didn't know where to buy left guard.

Did you hear about the blonde housewife who was mad at her husband
because he was out shooting craps and she didn't know how to cook
them.

Did you hear about the blonde who lost her mind? She worked in a
whorehouse for 6 years and then found out the other girls got paid!

Did you hear about the pregnant blonde who went to the grocery
store because she heard they had free delivery.

Did you hear that the only job for blondes at the candy factory
proofreading the M&M's?

A blonde gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop says "May I see
your license please?"
She says "Whets that ?"
He says "The little card with you picture that allows you to
drive?"
She says "Oh, I have one of those ... here you go"
The cop takes the license, goes back to his car and checks her out
for any warrants. After checking he walks back up to her car
window, unzips his pants, and pulls out his cock.
The blonde looks up and says ...
"Oh no, not another breathalyzer test !!!"


A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I
would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and
dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would
like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized
me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut
and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days
before she again approached the salesman.

"I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he
replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

[
Alligator Shoes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of
Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator
shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay
the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle"
attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde
shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own
alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable
price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my
guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big
one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the
swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home when
he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the
water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge
nine-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She
takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of
effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby
were several more of the dead creatures. The
shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde
flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated,
shouts out, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
]

 

"I have not seen anything as exciting and innovative as Solid Edge
with synchronous technology since the introduction of parametric
modeling in the late 80s. Solid Edge has crafted a dramatic
breakthrough by combining direct modeling, parametric modeling and a
new user interface," said Ray Kurland, president, Technicom. "Siemens
PLM Software has re-thought how users can more easily model in 3D.
Users should love the ease of building and editing models -- all
without any need to pre-plan how models might be used in the future.
Solid Edge's competitors will be scrambling for years to catch up."

Jon Banquer
San Diego, CA

 

By following the headers I notice that you are very clearly eagerly
awaiting my posts with baited breath & reading them with great relish.
So you lied again.

Hoping for more free clues?

 

Where's this forgery you were talking about, cuntflap?

--
Black Dragon

"Are pirates an ethnic group? Or are they just people who burn
illegal cds?"
"Arrrr! We prefer to be called Buccaneer-Americans."

 

Sorry, o king of the Usenet! I should have used one of the following
(as any one of them typifies Jonboi's usual posts):

Main Entry: misquote
Synonyms: belie, burlesque, camouflage, caricature, color, contort,
disguise, distort, do amiss, dress up,
embellish, embroider, exaggerate, falsify, fudge, garble, get one wrong,
get wrong, gild, gloss, gloss over, mask,
misapply, misapprehend, miscall, miscite, miscolor, misconceive,
misconduct, misconstrue, miscount, misdeal,
misdeem, misemploy, misexplain, misexplicate, misexpound, misfield,
misinterpret, misjudge, mismanage, misplay,
misprint, misread, misrender, misreport, misrepresent, misspell,
misstate, mistake, misteach, mistranslate,
misunderstand, misuse, overdraw, overstate, parody, pervert, slant,
squeeze, strain, strain the sense, titivate,
torture, travesty, trick out, twist, twist the words, understate,
varnish, warp, whitewash, wrench

Is that better, o great one? You name calling is also weak!

gk

 

Paul,

Pro/E was the standard then for parametric feature based modelers and
it still is.

SW could have been the standard for user interfaces for parametric
feature based modelers, but for the fact that they can't figure out
what the standard should be.

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